"let's go!" i cry for the fourth time in a row.
we're walking to the car.
"let's go!" i exclaim as their tiny limbs get tangled through the door climbing in to car seats.
"let's go!" as we get back out of the car.
the phrase has lost its meaning. 'let's go' no longer means 'hurry up' or 'come on' or whatever i intend it to mean. 'let's go' has come to mean 'mama is nagging us again and we're so over it and don't care anymore'.
i recently read an article about treating our children like humans (and shared it all over my facebook page) and it hit a little close to home. while this veers a little from that story, it's all the same. i wouldn't treat my husband like that, a friend like that, a colleague like that. so why can i do it to my kids?
their legs are shorter, smaller, slower. their bodies aren't able to keep up with mine, nor are their minds. yet i expect my 4 and 3 year olds to move at my pace, remember their shoes, to hold hands in the parking lot, pick up after themselves. some days everything goes fine and others, well others fall apart and it's like the universe is giving me a little nudge back in the right direction.
sometimes things need to fall apart before they can come together. sometimes things need to get a little out of control in order to figure out how to really figure out what needs controlling.
i have a necklace from the giving keys that says "let go". i got it last summer and it's been a powerful reminder to 'let go' of what's holding me back as a woman, a creative, a person. i was starting to think that it was time to 'let go' of the 'let go' necklace. to pass it along to someone else who needed the reminder.
after a morning full of telling my kids "let's go" we got back home after preschool drop-off and theodore headed to nap time and charlotte sat down with a banana before hers. i looked over and she had the necklace in her hands and reached out to place it around my neck. tears swelled in my eyes because it hit me how much i still needed this necklace, this message. to let go of control, of hurrying. to let go of saying "let's go".
there's nowhere we need to be so quickly. there's nothing so important that i can't wait for the natural pace of my children. there's nothing so urgent. in fact, taking a moment, a breath, and watching quietly their movement, their natural rhythm, is beautiful. it's enough to 'let go' of all of my rushed feelings and urgency and bring me back in to the moment.
so i'll be keeping my necklace a little longer.