Motherhood Right Now

there aren't too many times throughout my time as a mother (4 years next month!) that i've sat back and thought 'yeah, i'm doing it right'. in fact, most of what i'm thinking is along the lines of 'oh gosh is this going to be bad for them?' 'i should really turn the television off' 'did they eat enough breakfast?' 'what's this thing?' 'is it time to call the pediatrician yet?' 'i can't wait until brad comes home' 

but the last few weeks have been different. i'm seeing a new side of us as a family that i've only caught glimpses of in the past. a few weeks ago, william and charlotte asked if they could have a sleepover. we've been playing pretend in the space under the basement stairs that it's a 'camp' for 'adventures' and they bring all of their pillows and blankets and animals down there to have 'sleepovers'. but when they asked, they meant all night long. down in the dank basement. the basement was not my ideal place for a sleepover, so we negotiated (ice cream was involved) a transfer to the den/tv room/art room/addition/big room (we're still deciding on what name to give this space). we brought down 2 crib mattresses and the ever loved teepee, popped some popcorn, scooped some ice cream and clicked on netflix for a movie: The Penguins of Madagascar. 

it was so. much. fun. we cuddled, we played, we ate too many snacks, we laughed at the movie (and laughed at william laughing at the movie) and when it was time to sleep, we tucked ourselves in the teepee and drifted off. okay, i snuck out and slept in the bed because i've given birth to 3 babies in as many years and mama deserves a bed, okay? i walked around all night with a giddy smile on my face with the same thought running through my head 'i'm doing it right.'

we've had a couple sleepover since then and they've all been magical. the day after, not so much, but it's worth it in my book to give them this special thing to remember. i hope sleepovers in the big room are memories they can store up and keep with them forever. and giving them this exciting fun thing makes me want to do more. explore more, make more memories, surprise and delight them. 

right now they're watching bob the builder having a few slices of toast on the couch and i'm thinking 'i should probably turn it off'. but at the same time, they're calm and quiet and actually eating breakfast which is often more of a struggle than it should be. they're dancing to the songs, and laughing at the bad jokes. william just ran over to me and said 'i love you mama'.

so yeah, i'm doing it right.