Slow and cozy mornings, tending the garden, making bread and nut milks, reading, reading, reading.
The quiet rhythm of our daily home routine, thankful and exhausted with these days.
Last night at dinner William and Charlotte proclaimed they wanted to be Marines like daddy when they grow up. They said they wanted a hat and the boots and the uniform. And then they said they wanted a gun too. My heart nearly fell out of my chest. After each drill weekend, Brad comes home and shows the kids pictures of his time with his Marines. It's a normal part of our routine and I often don't think much about it. But looking back at this past weekend I realized many of the photos were of men carrying guns. Doing military exercises, preparing for an event where they would be in a position needing to protect themselves in this manner. I see where the children got the idea that they would need a gun in order to be a Marine.
I'm still reeling from last week's horrific events in Florida and could barely breathe thinking about my children with guns or even asking about them. Mine are so little, I can't imagine having this conversation with them quite yet. I'd have no idea what to say - how to approach it without completely terrifying them. I simply responded with "people don't need guns" in a quiet, matter-of-fact manner and continued to eat my dinner. But the thought followed me around for the rest of the day. Haunting me.
We don't watch television or movies with gun violence, we don't have cable so there are no commercials or news stories, we don't have toy weapons. I keep the phone and social media put away when they're around and they don't attend school. But still, the idea of guns seeped in to their minds by means of simply sharing my husband's job and duties, it was bound to at some point or another. I wasn't prepared for the conversation this time - but I will be the next time the opportunity presents itself.