I've started a new journal. Thoughts, ideas, quotes, things I want to remember throughout our days. It's not just for me, it's a whole family journal. It sits on the edge of the kitchen counter with a pen tucked neatly in the fold awaiting inspiration, something interesting, something inspiring or mundane. I love writing things down - I talked about the psychological health benefits of expressive writing in this post. I have also had an aversion to doodling since I was very young. In elementary school I sat next to a girl who was a true artist. Even at 12 years old you could just tell. She made these doodles in the corners of her notebooks that looked like something out of the best drawn cartoon you could imagine and I desperately wanted to be able to create art like that. Try as I might, I never was able to fit outside of the lines on the paper. No inspiration came, no motivation, no insightful funny cartoons.
This notebook of mine does not have lines. I'm not bogged down by the confines of lined paper, free to write and doodle away. Yesterday I drew a tea cup. Another day I doodled a waffle. They're not beautiful. They're not 12yr old elementary school neighbor level doodles. But I'm allowing myself to be messy, think outside the lines, try new things.
I have a vision for this notebook. This is where I have been keeping track of things we do in our homeschool, little notes to make me feel as if we've accomplished our tasks. This is where I write down sweet things Charlotte says "I'm going to go take care of mama", and life milestones like William losing his first tooth or Charlotte's first ballet recital. It's all a jumble of thoughts and tasks and it's beautiful in it's own way. It's beautiful to me. Because it's not trying to be something it's not. Today one of the things I wrote was "brad bought me medicine before he left for work this morning <3 " Things I want to remember.